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Things to buy at the pirate store

By Robyn Hagan Cain
  • Can't make it to the sea? No problem; just bring the sea to your bath tub with a jar of Pacific Sea Salt Scrub, $15. Photos by Patricia Chang.
  • We're not sure how, or if, Giant Squid Repellant, $9, works. Also unclear, whether this product could repel lesser squid. But the bottle is pretty.
  • The whale feed, $8, may actually be shrimp chips, but it's one of Store Manager Caroline Kangas's favorite items at 826 Valencia. Just crumble and sprinkle into the water, and wait for your whale friends to come calling.
  • Wouldn't a pocket sundial, $23, look fantastic dangling from your belt?
  • There's a decent chance that Scurvy Begone, $12, is a jar of lemon candies. But if you eat an entire jar, and you don't get scurvy, you can claim that it worked.
  • For every time you thought to yourself, "What I really need in my home is a dish full of skull beads," the pirate store sells these beauties, $3.50 each.
  • Forget the compass app on your phone; wouldn't you rather carry this handsome box compass, $36 everywhere you go?
  • Can we all agree that interrogative dice, $1 each/$1.75 per pair, sounds like a good bar game?
  • Some would suggest that eye patches, $5 each, should be reserved for costumes and surgical procedures. We beg to differ.
  • The pirate store will have you know that this spyglass, $33, is up to three times more convenient than regular vision.
  • One of the few items available for barter: Sand. Available in exchange for a song, story, a dance, a joke, or a drawing.
  • The managers suggest you can carry your cannonball and a picnic blanket in this rucksack, $23 which means it's the perfect size for Sundays at Frat Mason, or
  • This t-shirt, $23, is a friendly reminder that you should always use cannons responsibly.
  • Let your pirate freak flag fly, $13 each.

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